Tuesday, November 2, 2010


Hey guys, I now have a new blog : www.riflessione.tumblr.com/ and I write about a truly different genre now. Not been getting ideas on what fictional story to write but I'm sure I'm going to return to it again one day.


Juria Hartmans

Tuesday, August 10, 2010


She was sixteen and he was twenty five when they first met. Falling in love with an older guy has never been part of her life plan but plans sometimes don't turn out the way they are expected to. But this doesn't mean that your life would be dragged into a black hole. Elise came from a 21st century aristocrat family and Daniel from an unsolved puzzle. She lived in a house with twelve rooms and he lived in any place that would allow him to stay the night. She looked up to Hepburn and he looked up to Cobain. They were just two beings from entirely different worlds. This is no Romeo and Juliet but definitely original. This is a story of a collision between two worlds that resulted entirely in its own way.

Writer's block. So sorry.

Written by,
Juria Hartmans

Monday, September 7, 2009


“You shall never be nothing less than the air that I breathe, the sun that provides me warmth, the exquisite moon that I set eyes on every single astonishing night of my life ever since your existence”. Those were the words he had said before he pressed his perfectly full shaped lips against mine. It was all too perfect that I could even feel the stars in the sky staring in envy. I’d live eternally in this moment if I could. My heart was pumping fast that it skipped a few beats. He was all I desired, he made the years of wait worth more that gold buried in a treasure chest under the deep blue sea. My sadness no longer had control of me, neither does my emptiness. I could long for nothing more. The night ended after he sent me to my doorstep. We got all wet due to the cloud pouring its tears all over the city as it was lonely, its wishes were not paid attention to, were not fulfilled unlike mine. Before he left, he had given me a goodnight kiss, a perfect one. As soon as I lost sight of my one and only lover, I stepped into my home. I got onto my gray couch that has been with me for at least four solid years. It was perfectly positioned to face my bulky television set. I had the television turned on to see nothing but boring old repeated movies. I didn’t see the purpose of intentionally repeating them in the way that they do it so I decided to make my way upstairs and lay in solitude, in my bathtub. It has been a while since I took a bubble bath so it seemed like a very insinuative choice. The warm bath felt so good on my skin after a long day out with Nate. I had my hands behind my head as I stared at the ceiling, thinking of the blessing that I had received, that I don’t at all deserve. He’s as loyal as any human being could ever be, as hopelessly romantic and sensitive as any lady would ever hope for a man to be. The way I feel for him is unimaginably strong that I would jump in front of a bullet just so that his heart would continuously beat till he dies a natural death, a non-hurtful death that is.


My eyelids were half open as I stared into blank space for a couple of seconds. It showed 7.36 a.m. on my table clock that was placed right beside my bed, alongside the first photo of Nate and I taken at the beach. I still remember every inch of detail that happened on that day. We were holding hands while we enjoyed the view of the most stunning sunset. I had taken my camera out and faced it towards us so that we could have a picture that would remind us of that particular day, that particular never ending moment.

I had to freshen up so I went to the bathroom and got my teeth brushed and I took a bath. I don’t usually take my bath as early but today was exceptional. He was going to come over so I had to look my best, I always try to. Covered up by my faded purple towel that had my name sewed onto it, I browsed my closet for something lovely to wear. It was between this white dress that had pink polka dots on it and this beach dress that was sky blue in color, some small decisions in life are very hard to make due to my indecisiveness. After ten minutes of looking at myself in the mirror and comparing dresses, I decided to go along with the white dress as it is Nate’s favorite color. I had some pink blusher on my pale white cheeks to make myself look more appealing. As I headed downstairs, I had thought of what to cook. Maybe some beef bacon and omelet. Also, ten pieces of blueberry pancakes would be a good addition to the breakfast menu.
After I was done preparing breakfast, the doorbell rang. My heart dropped and lifted itself back up again after a split second. It was him, it was my one true love standing in front of the door waiting to come in. I was having the worse case of butterflies as I paced quickly to open the wooden door. He was wearing a body hugging white shirt that showed off his perfect abs. His hazel brown hair was pushed back in the best way possible. In my white dress, I felt triumphant towards his insane beauty. He came close to my face, held my hands gently and placed it onto his chest as he gave me a kiss that never could be better than it already was. I felt like I was being constantly hit by cupid as he never fails to make me fall in love with him over and over again. I was overwhelmed by the simple yet complicated fact that he was mine, never to be replaced. We made our way to the dining table and he looked at the amount of food I had prepared and took a glimpse my way. He was smiling in a way that I would kill myself if I had missed it. I served both of us the meal that I had prepared. We ate and were done after an hour.


It was 6.30 p.m. when the sun decided to take off from it’s job. I could sense that it was feeling awfully sleepy. We walked by the beach, with the breeze in our hair. The wind blew his hair backwards and his whole face was now clear for me to see. There was this silence in the air, words weren’t spoken, only the sound of waves crashing into the shore. The sun left this golden blue color in the skies that was all but ugly, just truly mesmerizing. All of a sudden, he stopped walking and swiftly faced me in his direction. He kissed me again but this time with more enthusiasm and my lips synchronized with his. He pushed me a little to speak. “I have something to tell you, but promise me you’ll be calm about it”.

“What is it?” I replied.
“First promise me” he said.
“Alright, alright, I promise”
“My family has this history of suffering from chronic diseases. Well, my mum was lucky enough not to suffer from such. My grandfather had died due to lung cancer”.

“Where are you getting at Nate?”
“Well, I have been wanting to tell you this but I was afraid of hurting you, emotionally that is”.
“I have never cared for nothing more than you and your wellbeing. You yourself should know how important you are in my life. I needn’t to remind you that, thought we were clear on it. Tell me! What is it!”

“Well..” he said as he clears his throat “I’m suffering from… lung cancer”

I could feel the triggering rush in my veins, it wasn’t good. I felt like screaming or to do something that would hurt me. I wanted to punch a brick wall just so that I would break a finger or all five. Make myself bleed till I drain out all my blood. I knew well enough that I couldn’t live without him. He is my life and forever will be. Without him, life would be meaningless, worthless just like being a genius in algebra when you want to be an archaeologist. I knew the expression I had on my face and it definitely wasn’t one of his favorites.

“My love, you promised me you’d be calm, I’ll be alright, I’m going through treatments , I’ll be fine” he said, in which was a failure attempt to assure me.

“How long has it been this way?” I said as my voice broke. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, washing the pink blusher away.

“Just a couple of months, I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to worry”

“How could you do such a thing?!” I tried to raise my voice but failed.

“Forgive me, I only thought of what’s best for you”

“This is not the best for me, you are just being plain selfish!” I said. After a few seconds of silence, I asked “Did the doctor say anything else?”

From the look I displayed on my face, he knew exactly what I was asking.

“He did say that I would live for another… umm.. three months”. He smiled, trying to cheer me up. I wasn’t cheered up, I was sad as ever. I was angry at God for wanting to take my one and only happiness away from me. I have not done any mistake, a mistake that was big enough for it to be fair for God to commit a fatal abduction in such a way.


Two months later…

To be continued…

Written by,

Juria Hartmans

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Honour [2]

Everyday, I use the same road, the road that leads me to nothing but my ordinary life. I took a glimpse at my poorly manicured nails and at the same second, a mercedes benz had passed along. I thought, what was God trying to prove, was He just rubbing it in?. I had already known what I have and what I dont, there's no point trying to prove it to me. All my life, I have been getting what I need instead of what I crave for, the essential needs have been taking the spotlight for almost quite a long time now. I'm sure that it has to retire someday but when is that day coming along?. I had known better than anyone else that I can definitely do better than this, but the big question here is, how do I do it?. That particular question messed around with my head for quite a long time, I have given all my attention and thought to it without noticing that the answer was right in front of me. Yes, I was nothing but blind. I could not see what was obvious, it was as if I was blindfolded by a thick black cloth. The right answer was to work for whatever it is that I had been longing for.

Since the day that I had removed the imaginary cloth away from my eyes, I managed to achieve whatever it is that I wanted. I felt soo extraordinary. Life had never been better and success had never tasted sweeter. For that reason, I have honoured and respected myself more than I used to due to the fact that I was able to discover something that I never thought I could. I no longer felt inferior towards the life that I live in.

Written by,

Juria Hartmans

*Not one of my favorites.

Monday, August 17, 2009


There I was, wishing that I had been less oblivious, less naive, less of everything that intended to slow me down during that current situation. There I was, wind with rough edges blowing into my hair, just for the sake of messing it up, just to meddle with my indecisive self, clustering up the situation with all of its magnificent strength. I thought, yes, I may be empty but what was left in me was the one thing that kept me going. It was the feeling of honour. Buried deep inside of me, as deep as hell was beneath the Earth. The honour I had was to myself. Self absorbed I may be but unmistakable at the same time. Having that in mind, the tragic yet meaningful event that woke the honourable feeling lifted itself into the air just like a balloon lifted by the helium gas in it. I was a person who never gave up, in whatever situation. My life has had too many downturns, yet I am still the most optimistic pessimist. They say phrases and quotes are just ordinary words but I feel that they are far from being just the run of the mill. Since I was younger, I have been trained to believe in these phrases, "things happen for a reason" and "blessing in disguise". Whenever an atrocious event happens, those two carry me back up, high up above the skies.

To be continued...

Written by,
Juria Hartmans

*Sorry guys, I lost my inspiration.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Tick, tock, tick, tock. Seconds from being dead as the bomb would explode any second now. As I stood there, like a lamp post, did nothing to save my brother's life. He was cuffed to the bomb and the key was taken away. The existence of a ten year old's life was in my hands. I wish to do something, anything really, to save him. I had too little knowledge about wires that were connected to the bomb as I was a Chemistry student. I could feel the triggering rush in my veins, sweat rolling down my forehead. I couldnt be bothered to wipe it off and look neat. The stress was killing me as my brother's life was at stake. I was his last hope, last chance of surviving. The bomb looked fearsome, just like a killer. There were wires everywhere that even the knowledge from CSI couldn't help me. Time is the only thing that matters now, precious yet still was being wasted. My brother was screaming at the top of his voice and I could do nothing to help. I looked at the wires again and again and they made me too nervous that I felt like I was colorblind. "Red or blue, red or blue", the only thought that was running through my useful yet useless mind. I decided to cut the blue one off without any particular evidence of it being the life saving wire, just purely following my instinct. Time is golden, the most essential element at the moment. Tick, tock, tick, tock, seconds flew. I was burning too many brain cells already. I took the blade from my pocket and directly cut the wire. All of a sudden, all of the stress was set loose as the timer on the bomb stopped ticking. The bomb was turned off, thanks to my unbelievable instinct. I learned my lesson that time should never be wasted as it is truly important, important enough that it could save a person's life.

Written by,
Juria Hartmans

*This was a request from my friend, Nigel ( http://legins-anecdote.blogspot.com/ ). He wanted me to write a story about time, so there you go :)

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Impossible

I wish to speed off on an endless track where obstacles don't exist. Read minds without any talents. To live in a never ending fairytale where flowers are golden and man are nothing but perfect, far from the ones in reality, instead, ones that may possibly teach me the meaning of love. To experience the absence of white lies is what I crave. I need to be at a land where fantasies are hired and nightmares are fired. I wish for the unreal to be real, and the term "too good to be true" to be less feared. To be blown by the wind, to let it take the lead, and to let it bring me wherever it intends to. Have wings so that I could flee in the direction that might grant me my bittersweet intentions. These were the last train of thoughts I had embraced while on my deathbed, inhaling my last and longest breath.

Written by,
Juria Hartmans

*Picture taken from : http://ericfitzgerald.com/img/fine_art/art_1995_007_MyDeadman_smal.jpg